Category: LGBT Discussion
this could cover anything, so let's do that, from online dating to long distance relationships, to cyber sex be it over skype or messenger. thoughts, oppinions, and a question mainly for the women, but I'd like to hear from anyone, if you and someone are having, skype sex, is it normal to become attached to the person you are doing things with. I say yes, I mean, look at how intimate you are being. but that is just me. so yeah, thoughts opinions, or what ever, this can cover anything to do with online. not just the things listed here
If one has a sexual online relationship with someone, it would not be surprising if attachments arose. Online relationships often rely on not just sexual arousal, but psychological arousal as well, and getting to know a person in such an intimate way will definitely create a bond.
However, casual online flings are simply that, and if anyone gets attached, they heavily risk being emotionally hurt.
I would say, that it’s not so much the cyber or Skype sex or any other sort of online sexual relationship which will decide the emotional attachment, but it is the type of relationship one is carrying out online. So, know what it is that you are doing, and what it is that you want and expect from the other person.
If one person is thinking about eventually meeting and getting together and starting a physical relationship and the other person simply likes to get off online, there will be really big problems when those two views on the relationship collide, even if that relationship is very strong, and contains a powerful emotional and psychological bond for both people.
I would have to agree with Alex here.
I had an online relationship at one point with a guy. We didn't have cyber sex as neither of us was in to it. We grew so close over time, sharing as much as is possible in that situation. Then we met, and we tried the physical relationship thing, and he decided that even though he was attracted to me, he couldn't deal with the social implications of being with another guy. Even after that, I would never shy away from an online relationship that seemed promising, but make damned sure you know what each person is expecting from it, and how far each person is willing to go.
I agree with Alex and Renfro. Make sure all involved have an understanding of the nature of the relationship.
Just to clarify, since this is a subcategory of "Safe Haven", are we allowed to discuss things of an explicit sexual nature?
I'd say yes. For the other parts of safe haven no, but I think it's understood that this is sort of in the safe haven category more for the protection against bashing and the like than anything else. So go for it, unless you hear otherwise. I'll ask for clarification from the rest of the staff.
Cool, works for me.
I consider my partner and myself, 2 of the lucky ones. We were completely honest with each other. What started as a friendship quickly grew into something more. Gradually as feelings deepened, we discussed how we felt. We spoke of what we wanted in our futures, we spoke of fears. We spoke of everything from the silly to the serious. We were honest about our appearance, no lying about looks here. *Smile*
It's funny, looking back, we said a lot through music. I'd send her a song and say, listen to the words and she'd do the same.
I would hope if someone is having an online fling, they would be up front about it. If someone is on the receiving end of such honesty, they need to accept it and not hold out for more.
I have a friend, this is nothing romantic and in the beginning she told me what kind of friend she is. She isn't that reliable, she's not great at returning phone calls or keeping in touch, and she's not the girl you should expect to hang out every weekend. From the get-go, I've believed her. It has definitely made for less hurt feelings and I know what to and what not to expect out of her.
Does anyone share the feeling that online dating or friendship has the potential for more openness? Revealing more about yourself than you may face to face? I find that aspect of it, kind of nice. *smile*
it's, we're really close as friends, and we do, uh, cyber, but I'm not sure if that is considered an online fling... it's really hard for me to explain. but still. and yay to explisit stuff. I'm totally honest, my logic is, how can you not be honest with someone and expect them to be honest with you.
I think that definitely qualifies as an online friends with benefits. I wish you the best of luck; I hope it turns out the way you want it too.
As for honesty online vs. in person, I think it depends on the people. Someone can create a false persona just as easily online as they can in person.
Becky
becky, but when you are on skype, you can not create a false anything. your voice and emotions can't be hidden.
You can if you're really good at lying and/or hiding your true emotions.
hmm, true, but you'd have to be really really really good at something like that, and eventually someone will see through you.
Personally, I feel that online things can be just as dangerous as meeting someone in a bar. As long as both of you are honest that is all that matters.
If you have an online relationship and hope for it to translate into the physical world, honesty is very important indeed in my opinion.
honesty is important for anyone, weather it be online or in person, but becky is right, someone could fool you, even if it is over something like skype or some other voice chat program.
I would agree with becky people can hide there feelings and lead ou on really good and make you believe alot but if you do meet you ill catch on and i mean to me it is a way to open up and hope they are telling you the truth online but just don't let your guard down all the way.
victoria
Hmmmm, this topic is interesting. I personally wouldn't go for an "online fling", at least not seriously, but as far as relationships go, I have known some online relationships that have worked. I used to have a friend, she was actually a zoner, and i think she may even be married now. She and her boy friend had one fo those rare relationships where there is a lot of trust, aand of course, they met, and well they're just really lucky to have each other! So I think it can work, but it's very rare that could happen.
Omg cant type!
hmm you sure can't ashley
I've done online relationships, and they work if you stay commited.